Olive

I’ve never understood the attraction of olives. Sure, they look cool adorning each finger like some extraterrestrial with their suction-like fingers (I’m assuming here – I have no proof that aliens exist OR what their supposed fingers look like) but to eat them? Ewww. Those creepy little red pimientos contrasting against the green skin of the olive just makes for an unappetizing combo. I like my food to be more complementary in color. Just kidding. That’s rarely an issue for me or I wouldn’t eat a hotdog with ketchup, mustard AND relish. Those colors don’t go together at all. I guess I am forgetting that there are black olives, too… that shoots my attractiveness theory in the face. But I don’t like them either.

There are certain foods that I just can’t entertain. Like most seafood. Or any meat still on the bone. So an olive and salmon sandwich is completely out of the question! But I’ll eat a nitrate-laden hot dog. How twisted is that?

You’d think that I’d be all over olives because they are soaked in brine – and I’m like a doe in constant search of her salt lick. But no. I just can’t do it. I think it might be the texture. That is what actually deters me from most foods on my “no way” list. I don’t think it’s the smell (unless it’s tuna) or the taste. It’s all about texture. I used to have a strong dislike of mashed potatoes because I couldn’t take the texture. I’d gag every time I’d put a forkful near my mouth. It got to the point where I just refused to put them on my plate at all. Then, at one Thanksgiving get-together, my step-sister (who, incidentally, only has three toes on one of her feet) laughed at me about something and spit mashed potatoes all over my eight-year-old self. The shower of potatoes had me running at top speed, knocking over random relatives, in search of the closest bathroom so I could spew my Thanksgiving dinner in a private environment. Overly dramatic? Perhaps. But ewww. I just couldn’t take it.

I have to state here that I am NOT a fan of Thanksgiving… mostly because I don’t like Thanksgiving food. A big turkey full of bones. Gross. Mashed potatoes… I’ve come a long way but I’m still very particular about my potatoes. And then the other items… casseroles (ewww). Marshmallows on food (gross). Deviled eggs (oh, dear Lord). I just can’t take it. The only items I’d put on my plate at Thanksgiving dinner (as an eight-year-old, mind you) would be a single dinner roll with butter and celery adorned with *gasp* pimento spread. Ack! I guess I’m okay with at least part of the olive after all! I just realized something about myself that I’d buried down deep. Gosh. This exercise has been totally therapeutic.

In addition to – evidently – liking pimento spread, I do like Olive for a name. I find that to be fun. My favorite movie of the moment happens to be “Easy A” and the protagonist’s name is Olive. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s a lot of fun. Plus, there’s a lot of references to 80’s films, which is totally my era. If you do happen to watch it be sure to be on the lookout for oranges. The director has them thoughtfully placed in nearly every scene. I love random trivia like that.

Time’s up!

Thank you, Dara Ickes, for a fun little topic. Dara and I attended the same high school way back when.  She graduated a couple of years before I did (but that does not make her older, right?) I’m fairly confident that we were both in the marching band but she did not play an instrument. Rifle? Flag? Ugh. My memory is going. I played alto sax and could barely carry it around let alone notice what other people were doing. 🙂 What I know of Dara today is that she is very sweet and caring, she’s totally kicking my butt at Words With Friends and we’re doing awesome at Draw Something. We’ve hit 126 turns!  Thanks for your friendship, Dara.