What a fun holiday today is because I LOVE words! Today is Peter Mark Roget’s birthday. He was the author of Roget’s Thesaurus. He started writing his collection of synonyms in 1840 and finally published his work in 1852. Since then, it has never been out of print! So… I don’t feel so bad not having finished my assortment of short stories. If it took Dr. Roget 12 years to amass his synonyms, I can take a bit of time for my compilation. I need to get going though. My 12 years are nearly up.
I’m currently at the hospital in NYC with Benjamin. We’re doing day three of round 10 of antibody therapy. Monday stunk pain-wise. Tuesday was very “hive-y”. Today is a mixture of pain and hives – neither of which have been too terrible to handle. It’s nearly four pm (EST) and he’s still sleeping. I’m hoping we get out of here in the next hour or so… he’s got friends to play with back at the Ronald (namely his good friend, Justin).
I’m looking forward to a change of scenery, this little room gets really old after sitting here for hours on end. I did try to pass the time by taping a couple of videos for my new blog project. I taped them on my iPad and uploaded them to youtube but am having a hard time connecting them here. I know I can’t do it from my iPad so I’m going to try from my laptop. Wish me luck.
Today’s vid-log (I don’ t know what you really call them, weblog? vlog? webbyvideo? wideo? I dunno.) was actually hard to do. I kept crying during initial takes because I found out that a kiddo died here this morning. I don’t know who the kiddo was – I didn’t see them – but the air upon our arrival to the hospital this morning was very heavy. The staff was clearly struggling with something. I later learned that a kiddo passed away (the walls are thin here… it’s easy to hear everything, especially when our room is directly in front of the nurse’s station). And it broke my heart. Ben was already sedated and treatment was underway so I broke down and cried my eyes out. I cried for the child who lost their life. I cried for the family that lost their pookie-pie. I cried for the wonderful fact that my son is doing well. It’s so difficult balancing between the dichotomy of heartbreak and elation over the same damn disease. I hate cancer. In fact, I have a big, white butt that it can kiss. After all, I’ve never heard of butt cancer. Colon cancer, sure. But “butt cancer?”. No. It can get as close to my butt as it wants. Kiss away, cancer. You deserve a big “ass-sandwich.”
So, if I ever get my vid-log/wideo/whatever-it-is, to load you’ll see some tears at the end. I’ve decided that I don’t like the facial expressions I make when I cry so I’m just not going to cry anymore. Ever. I’m done. Yeah, right. I’ll probably cry starting in five, four, three, two….
And there I go.
Love to all of you. Take a moment to spread some love, especially to someone who might feel really unloved right now.
Stronger Than I Look 