Ben is being bullied at school. I learned of this last night as he was under the influence of all his drugs from his day of 3F8 therapy. He was feeling a little weepy from the aftereffects of not only the 3F8, but the dilaudid (pain killer), the fentanyl patch (more pain killer), and respiridone (anti-anxiety), too. All of this medication acted as a truth serum of sorts and he laid out the facts of what was happening at school.
I had no clue.
I’d heard him talk about this kid before – we’ll call him “E” for our purposes here – but I thought “E” was just a minor hooligan instead of a full blown bully. He’s in Ben’s class and I guess he’s been saying hateful things to Ben since he started back to school.
I’ve seen this kid in action. He was terrorizing a kid while walking home from school last week. “E” threw a large chunk of grass at this boy’s head and hit him right in the face. There was dirt in his eye and a nice red mark right underneath. I happened to be the only adult around so I soothed the boy while “E” seemed to not care that he had hurt someone else. I told him that it was inappropriate to throw things at other people, especially at someone’s face. He said sorry but I could tell it wasn’t heartfelt. I didn’t really give this “E” a second thought because, well, boys will be boys. They play rough. I turned my attention to getting the dirt off of the boy and let “E” leave. Had I known that this kid was terrorizing my son, too, well, I might be in jail right now.
So here’s what’s been happening: “E” makes fun of Ben for being little. He said that only nerds have freckles and that Ben looks like a dork. He said that Ben will never get a girlfriend because girls don’t like “shorties”. He thinks it’s funny that Ben has had cancer. He told Ben that he looks like a little rat. He laughs at Ben daily and calls him names.
Ben just wants to be friends with people. He’s not interested in acting like this “E” character. Ben is good natured and has a very sensitive soul. This “E” is breaking his heart and Ben just doesn’t understand why.
Of course, while Ben is pouring out his heart to me, we’re both crying. Tears streaming down our faces as Ben recounted all the hurtful things that “E” has said. And while I reminded Ben that these were just “words” I couldn’t help but be hurt by what “E” has said, too. It makes me sad. Angry. Ready to call this boy’s parents and say “WTH?” But instead of going that route I suppose I’ll contact the school first. Ben told me that his teacher has already confronted this “E” on his bad behavior towards Ben. She made him apologize for calling Ben a rat.
I asked Ben if going to school was too much. He said he loved going to school but “E” took away from that. I want to wrap Ben up and protect him from the world but know that this is not reasonable. He needs to live. He needs to learn how to deal with bullies. He needs to have the freedom to be a normal boy.
But he’s not normal. He’s extraordinary. I think he should be exempt from all this tedious hooey.
So, I’ll help him with strategies on what to say to this “E” when he says hurtful things. And I’ll wipe his tears and offer my support whenever he’s hurting. And I’ll tell him that life isn’t fair.
But he already knows that.
My daughter was bullied last year and it was pure hell. You need to keep on the school to deal with “E”.
We tried to deal with it ourselves but just couldn’t so we got the school involved and it really was a joke. Nothing really ever got better.
Good luck and I’m so sorry that you have to add this onto everything else you’re dealing with.
Oh ya, and the fear of jail is what kept me from slapping the little b*tches 🙂
GAH. We had a problem with a kid at school bullying Declan and it became physical. We went to the school. They “sympathized” but realy did nothing, even though one (there was more than one physical inicident, if you can believe it) incident happened on a school field trip. The principal, who I really like, told us to approach the parents. We did. Thought all was well.
Then, another attack–the kid put his hands around Declan’s throat until he nearly passed out. Red marks, the whole nine yards. I photographed it. Eamonn had the cajones to call the dad and confront, and said if it ever happened again, we’d call the police. No incidents since then, but it’s nice and awkward when we see them, which is often, in our small town! Anyway, go to the school, go to the parents, get it on record. Yes, kids will be kids (Finn gets hassled because he wears glasses), but hopefully those parents will be horrified by their child’s behavior.
Very nice. Afraid I might embarass you in front of all your virtual friends? Leaving voicemail is not a substitute for real conversation. It may be cool with your Facebook pals but it isn’t with me. Next time try to get in touch.with me for real…
Get over yourself.
Ben’s Dad…are you in elementary school? “Get over yourself” is an understatement. If you would like Sarah’s “virtual friends” to unleash a “Ben’s Dad is a Douche” campaign, keep it up…
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