It’s “Old Maid’s Day”

Old Maid’s Day came about after the end of World War II when many women were waiting for their GI’s to return from the war. Some women waited a long time. And, of course, some GI’s never came home. It left a lot of lonely ladies.

I imagine some GI’s left their sweet young girl behind only to return to an emotionally encrusted nag of a woman. This poor woman had just spent years waiting for the love of her life all the while having her bonbons rationed. The GI had it rough? Not hardly. War is nothing when compared to no chocolate or bananas or tea or milk or rubber or gasoline. And for crying out loud, no TYPEWRITERS, PAPER OR INK! Had I lived during that era, I would have fallen apart. No writing? I mean, really. There’s no doubt that I would have been an old maid.

While I admire women of that era I’m certainly glad I didn’t have to live during those years. Plus, I don’t look good in the big shoulder pads that were fashionable during the 40’s. Luckily, I got to skip over that section of the 80’s when they came back in style. I opted for skinny jeans and Duran Duran boots instead of big shoulders. A better choice? No. But what were the options?

While my high school years may have been a bit dry in the boy department (I blame poor choices in hairstyles) I’ve more than made up for it in my adult years. The key is to go where the boys outnumber the girls. And it helps to be isolated to some degree. So the boys can’t just hop in the car and go to the next town where girls are plentiful. I suggest Summit County, Colorado (or any mountain town) and, if you’re truly desperate, McMurdo Station in Antarctica. This option is not for everyone since you have to pass a rigorous mental health exam, because once you’re there, you’re stuck. I’ve even heard that if you die at McMurdo, they stick you on ice until the thaw comes, which could be months. And, if you make a poor choice, you have nowhere to run. You’ll be stuck with that poor choice staring you down Every. Single. Day. While I’ve never had to resort to going all the way to Antarctica, I did take full advantage of Summit County back in my 20’s. But, as I’ve stated before, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. 😉 And it, too, is a small county. Your mistakes tend to haunt you in such a tiny community. I had to move back to Ohio after my divorce because I couldn’t go to the grocery store without someone asking me “Hey, Sarah! How’s ***?”. To which I would respond “Gee. I don’t know. I kinda hope he’s on fire.” But once one person knew then the whole county knew. It was worse than high school in some ways. At least I had better hair by then.

So, if you happen to be an old maid, you’ll take comfort in knowing that today is also “Hug your cat” day. And everyone knows that if you’re an old maid then the chances of you having a cat is pretty high. Evidently, I was planning from an early age to be an old maid because I’ve been captured on film hugging many a cat. See case file #OM1977:

This cat did NOT want to be hugged. In fact, I think I was shredded shortly after this photo shoot. I still have the scars to prove it.

Okay, gotta get ready for my final laser session of tattoo removal. Tattoos are like a one night stand in Antarctica. They might seem like a good idea at the time, but they never are. And the removal process is EXTREMELY painful.

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