When I was a young girl I had a recurring nightmare that my family left me in a haunted house. It goes like this: my mom, dad, sister and I were in a car. We drove up a long driveway to a very dark and eerie mansion. Thunderheads were looming over the turrets and occasional thunder could be heard. We walked up to the door and rang the bell, but no one answered. My mom opened the door and we stepped inside. We start checking out rooms and somehow I got separated from my family. The next thing I know, I could hear the car starting. I looked through a boarded up window to see my family driving away without me! I pounded on the boards, screaming and crying for them to come back. The next bit is where the monsters come in. I turn around and see a werewolf. I start to run from it, and, of course, it chases me. Each time I turn a corner a different monster pops out until I’m followed by not only the werewolf, but Dracula, the Mummy, Swamp Thing AND Frankenstein. I get to the point where I’m exhausted and just stop running. I turn to them and say “Can’t we just get along?” They look at each other, some of them shrugging their shoulders as if to ask “what do you think?” to each other. They finally look at me and say okay. I have a feeling we all lived happily ever after.
I can still relive this dream with a vividness that astounds me. I can see their expressions. I can feel how out of breath I got. Now, I could try to decipher this and state that my dream has to do with abandonment issues, etc, but why ruin the fun of having your very own family of monsters? Wait… maybe that’s what this dream is about? I have a family of monsters! Ha! That’s funny. I’m going to think about that for a while.
So. About Ben. Many of you have been asking “what’s next”? Well, here’s what I know. He is CANCER-FREE! Whoo-hooooo! And now that he has re-received the status of having No Evidence of Disease (NED), we’re all breathing a little easier. What does this mean treatment wise? Unfortunately, he’s NOT finished. We still have to travel to New York, but now we will be going every eighth week instead of every fourth. He’s still taking accutane on a schedule of two weeks on and two weeks off. He’ll still have to do shots before the next round of antibodies. He still has to endure pain. 😦
Why? Because Ben is diagnosed as being “high risk” for relapse. This was a part of his original diagnosis and seeing how he did relapse – even if it was four years off therapy – there’s a high chance that he will relapse again. That being said, this antibody therapy that he’s been suffering through should be teaching his body how to fight any return of neuroblastoma cells. So, if one even thinks about forming then his cells should say “I’m coming to get you, Barbara” Okay, so that’s from “Night of the Living Dead”, but that’s how I like to think his healthy cells would approach any newly formed NB cells if they were to return. Eat ’em like a zombie eats brains (hey, I’m just trying to stick with the Halloween theme here).
That being said, our next trip to NYC will be mid-December. Yay! We’ll get to see the tree in Rockefeller Plaza! Maybe we’ll go ice skating! I think they should put lights on the Statue of Liberty, but I’m sure that would cause an uproar. She’d look so pretty, though.
So, we’re returning to a little bit of normalcy. It’s not ideal, but this is the life we have.
It’s better than living in a haunted house with a bunch of monsters, though.
Stronger Than I Look 