It’s hard to want to do something nice for people when they can be such toads. I challenge you to be dripping with “niceness” today, even to people you cannot stand. There’s nothing wrong with having common courtesy no matter how bad they’ve hurt you. Be the bigger person. Do something nice. I know you can do it. The question is, can I?
That being said, I think my best bet is to lock myself in the bedroom and have minimal interaction with people today. I don’t have the energy to be nice. Actually, I just used my entire reserve of niceness on my good friend, James. It’s his birthday today and I posted on his Facebook page that I am glad he was born. I am, truly, glad about that. He’s a great friend and I can talk with him about anything. He always checks in with me to see how Ben’s doing. He makes me laugh when I think I can’t. He’s good people. And I depleted my resources with giving him those well wishes.
It’s 2:43 am and I’ve been awake since 2 AM. I fell asleep about three hours ago but I guess sleep wasn’t on the agenda. I keep having nightmares about people dying and it’s never about the ones I wouldn’t mind losing. Ugh. That’s not nice, is it? Sorry. Anyway, here I am, wide awake. I’ve got a lot on my mind and my loved ones keep dying in my dreams. I used to be into dream analysis but I don’t think I’m interested in deciphering the heavy drama my dreams have become. Maybe if I try being nice in my dreams then my loved ones will come back? I’ll give it a shot.
I’m sure my mental status is taxed because of the upcoming NYC trip. This one will be longer than usual because Ben will have scans the Monday and Tuesday following his antibody therapy. If they find any disease in him, well, I cannot imagine that I’ll be able to be nice. Good thing that “Do Something Nice Day” is today. Get it out of the way and move on.
Hey! That’s going to be my mantra for the next few weeks. “Get it out of the way and move on.” I like it. Keep trudging, dear Sarah. This won’t be forever. It can only get better.