I Love Ben

The kids and I fell asleep while watching “Elf” last night. We’d had a very long day at the University of Colorado for the “Dance to Make a Difference” event – the annual marathon that benefits the Children’s Miracle Network.  This was Ben’s second year attending. Ben and Madeline played all day with their sorority “escorts” and were pretty darn tired after all the running around, dancing, and bouncy house fun. It was a great day.

Anyway, we had fallen asleep downstairs. I woke up pinned up against the wall (Matt cleverly converted a twin mattress into a couch since the design of our house failed to allow actual furniture in the basement). I chose to take Ben upstairs to his bedroom first. As I was laying him down he said, “my pillow is missing”. I retrieved it from our bedroom and put it under his head. Then he asked, “Could I have some water?” I brought him some. Then he said, “I’m sorry I’m asking you for so much.” My heart stalled for a second before it melted. Could this kid be any sweeter? Then I said, “Ben, I’m your mom. It’s my job and I’m happy to do it.” Then I kissed his soft, bald head, laid his giant stuffed puppy dog on top of him, and said goodnight.

It’s snowing here. Ben was standing by the window this morning watching the maintenance person over at the school using the snow blower. He was marveling at how much snow was being thrown around and called his sister over to the window to take a look. “Wow!”, said his sister with wonder. “Boy,” Ben said, “I just hope he’s warm enough.” He is simply amazing.

Right now, he’s picking up Legos in his room (or at least he’s supposed to be) and I can hear him singing to himself. He’s not thinking about tomorrow, which is another chemo day for him, he’s thinking about NOW. When will I learn to follow his lead?

He’s worried about asking for too much. I’m worried that I won’t get enough.

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