Sauntering: to walk with a leisurely gait; stroll: sauntering through the woods.
Let’s all slow down. As I type this, my five-year-old daughter is walking around in fancy shoes, wearing gaudy blue eyeshadow and wanting me to fix her hair so she can look more grown up. My heart twinges when I see her rush like this. But it’s a rite of passage. And I know it’s not going to slow down any time soon. One minute they’re a sweet baby in your arms and the next they are all grown up. *Sigh*
Eight years ago today I was in the process of my “getting ready for work” routine. I have to follow a routine or everything gets thrown off. I think this is all a part of my ADD issues. Anyway, I had stepped out of the shower, dried off, and began to brush my teeth. Half way into my brushing something watery hit the floor. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I was nine months pregnant with my first child – gender to be determined. My toothbrush fell into the sink and I excitedly yelled for Matt to come into the bathroom. I called the Doctor’s office, told them what had happened and they told us to head straight for the hospital.
We excitedly drove to Riverside Hospital thinking that by the end of the day we’d have a baby. Part of the excitement was finally learning if it was a boy or a girl! I couldn’t wait!Â We checked in at the front desk of the maternity unit, excitedly chatting with nurses about finally finding out what we were having. They led us to our room, directed me to change into a gown, and proceeded to check out my “progress”.
The nurse who initially inspected me was saying “Hmmm” a lot. She called over another nurse, who began her own inspection, and pretty much had the same to say. As they both stripped off their gloves with a loud snapping sound they both said “Nope. Your water didn’t break.” What? Then what hit the floor while I was getting ready this morning? While they weren’t 100% sure of what it was, they suggested it was the mucus plug. Man. The process of having a baby is just gross. 🙂
So. I begrudgingly took off my hospital gown. We would not be meeting our baby today. I redressed as Matt collected our things. The little gown that was appropriate for a boy or a girl… the video camera… stuff to help me through the delivery (which I later learned the only thing that would help with that was an epidural).
We left the room. As we were walking down the hall, one of the nurses was erasing my name off of the big white board of patients. I lowered my head and began what could only be described as a “walk of shame”. I felt them all looking at me, saying “Tsk, tsk. First time parents. They know nothing.”
I was sad that we wouldn’t meet our son or daughter that day. I felt as if I just couldn’t wait another day. My feet were swollen. My body was tired. I wanted to finally learn how to put a diaper on a real baby. I just wanted to go home. Unfortunately, when my boss found out that I wasn’t truly in labor, he called me back to work. Ugh.
Waiting. It stinks. But when we distract ourselves with other beautiful things in the world, hopefully we learn that it will all eventually come to us, just as my sweet little Ben came to me just three days later.
More tomorrow. 🙂
I had to do the walk of shame too, after spending the night at the hospital, a whole 15 hours. Can’t wait to hear the rest.
so true, and then they are turning 30…have i really been a mom that long? sweet photo of you and Benjamin 🙂
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