I used to be able to sleep anywhere. I could sleep on a hardwood floor, in the middle of the woods without a tent, or even with my feet stapled to the ceiling. I considered it to be one of my special skills.
In recent years, however, I’ve lost my ability to catch Zzzz’s just anywhere. [...]
Yes, it’s Carnival Day. But seeing how I have a strong aversion to rides that are assembled in a single afternoon and my consistent inability to win anything on the Midway by ringing canes, toppling milk bottles, or drawing the “lucky duck” out of the water of the “who knows where THAT’S been” water trough, [...]
I checked my many resources on holidays and all of them agree that today is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day. If this is all I get to work with I guess I’ll come up with something. Besides, I’m bored. Ben and I are just sitting here in the lobby at Children’s Hospital waiting to be [...]
“Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way. I can’t wait to look in the mirror ‘cuz I get better lookin each day. To know me is to love me, I must be a hell of a man. Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble but I’m doin the best [...]
Seriously. Where would we be without batteries? Batteries make the world go ’round… at least until they wear out.
My batteries need a recharge. Unfortunately, rechargeable batteries were not available when I was born, so I’m stuck with having to replace them every so often. Mine are currently all corroded and stuck together, acid dripping out [...]
A year or so ago, as I was leaving Bible study, I pulled through a McDonald’s to get Madeline a McNugget Happy Meal for lunch. As I pulled forward to pay, the cashier told me that the lady in the vehicle in front of me had already paid for my order. The cashier said that [...]
Ahhhh. There’s nothing as sweet as a newborn baby. Precious. Cooing. Little limbs flailing all over the place. The bond that you form in those first few moments after your baby’s birth can either be enhanced, or destroyed, all over what should be a simple process: giving your child a name.
As you’re holding your sweet [...]
I guess these two are celebrated simultaneously because if you spill milk on your white t-shirt then you’ll have nothing to cry over. However, if it’s chocolate milk, you’re screwed.
Today is supposed to be a day of optimism. Chin up! Life can be messy! White shirts get pit stains! Sh*t happens! I’m thinking the people [...]
I never seem to have an umbrella handy when the weather warrants the use of one, but I sincerely think that umbrellas are overrated. It’s very uncommon that I am in need of protection from the elements (at least rain) since I rarely dress up and my hair is styled in such a manner that [...]
I’ve already told you about my toothache woes in a prior “Stronger Than I Look” post. And while you should remember all details of each and every post I’ve ever written, here’s the synopsis: a dentist broke a needle in my mouth when I was very young and then the same dentist extracted my impacted [...]
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